Who might need to know?

• Anyone who can provide emotional support and assistance
• Those who need to know your medical condition-an exercise instructor, scuba diving teacher, and other health professionals
• An employer-you may need to request special schedules, break times or time off for medical appointments
• Someone with whom you share an intimate relationship
• Roommates and workout buddies

At the end of a long hike in Hawaii, Chris' behavior suddenly began to change. He walked slower and slower, studying each step as he took it. Chris had told Bill, his hiking partner, that he had type 1 diabetes and now Bill suspected that Chris' blood sugar level was dropping. He remembered that Chris kept some candies in his bag in case of a hypoglycemic emergency, but was stubborn and unlikely to admit that one was really taking place. Chris' mood worsened with every step. Bill knew that any mention of a possible low would definitely start a fight. So, Bill decided to be a bit cagey about it:

Bill: "Hey Chris, where are those sweets of yours? Let's open them up now."

Chris: "Bill! You know that those are for when I go low. Don't touch them!"

Chris got progressively worse. He became even more unsteady, so Bill pushed even harder.

Bill: "Chris, you obviously don't need your candy and I'm hungry. Come on…let me at 'em!"

Chris: "Who are you to tell me what I need or don't need?... Hey, now that I think about it, I might be getting low." Chris checked his blood sugar. It was 40 mg/dl (2.2 mmol/L).

Who does NOT need to know?

• Anyone who will nag you
• Those who will offer tempting foods you prefer to avoid
• One who will criticize lifestyle changes that you make
• The neighborhood gossip
• Someone who won't understand
• A person you barely know, or don't know at all

Mark is 45, has had type 2 diabetes for about two years, and still hasn't told his parents. "They would drive me crazy. They always blow things out of proportion and lose sleep over every worry. They will bore me with endless stories of acquaintances that have lost legs to diabetes, and other horror stories. Just what I need! Worst of all, they will spread the news to all of their friends."

If you are the partner of a person with diabetes, respect your loved one's request to keep the news from certain individuals. Don't go behind his or her back and share it anyway. Imagine if someone you told ran into your husband and mentioned his condition. It could damage the trust that you have built, cause him to withhold future information, create a rift that may not heal quickly, or even encourage him to confide in someone else instead. If your loved one doesn't want certain people to know, don't tell them!

For more ways to keep diabetes from giving you terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days, explore the quizzes, advice, personal stories, discussion topics and humor in The Secrets of Living and Loving with Diabetes…Three Experts Answer Questions You've Always Wanted to Ask, by Janis Roszler, RD, CDE, LD/N, William Polonsky, PhD., CDE, and Steven V. Edelman, MD.